Men, Be Men

“I Never Met My Dad”

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” (1 Cor 16:13)

The Bible seems to teach that why we do what we do is more important than what we do (see Jeremiah 17:10). One of the reasons why I teach is to love kids as a father would (also a Biblical idea). God experientially solidified this axiom for me when I was first long-term subbing for ninth grade English six years ago. I noted how few student files included contact information for their dad, so it has since been a goal of mine to love these kids, even when it’s not easy, as if they were my own.

I was sharing this idea, loving my students like a dad does, with my third period AVID class when the words of a sweet student stopped me in my tracks.

“I never met my dad,” she said as she looked into a distance I could not see.

While these words began echoing in my head, a fire was set ablaze in my heart. This was not an anger of the flesh kind of fire, but a “you’ve made my Father’s house into a marketplace, so I’m going to start flipping over tables” kind of fire.

I have walked with God for nearly seven years now, and my entire path can concisely be summed up as “My Father in Heaven is teaching me how to be a man,” and I am tired of boys thinking they are men just because they can buy a beer, own a car, have a bank account, or make a baby. I am tired of boys thinking they are men based on how much money they make or how many women they can sleep with, instead of thinking of how many people they can love in a day or how well they can raise a child. I’m tired of boys thinking they are men while they have no appreciation for the responsibilities God has blessed them with in their lives. Most of all, I’m tired of boys thinking they are men when they are full of fear yet scared of everything except the one thing which should reverently terrify them: God. Boys need to grow up, be men, respect God, raise children, love their wives, work hard, and serve others. That’s what a man does and that’s what this man felt when he heard a sweet girl he cared about say “I never met my dad.”  I’m tired of boys thinking they are men.

So In the midst of a Coronavirus pandemic, many Christ-loving men who are momentarily homebound with little sets of eyes watching them may desire to ask themselves, “What does it look like to be a man after God’s own heart?” While there is no truly concise list, let’s quickly consider a few practices God wants men to pursue.

Make Time for God

“And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, (Jesus) departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.” (Mark 1:35)

A man makes time for God. One thing that Jesus did was wake up before everybody else to spend time with his Father and model for us what we should do. James 4:8 and Hebrews 11:6 further encourage us to draw ourselves near to God. Waking up early to spend time with God before I spend time in a tribulation-filled world is an area I need to grow in, but be it at home or away, early in the day or late in the evening, we should make it our aim to please God by always seeking him.

Ask Forgiveness and Confess Sin

“Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:16)

A man models keeping short accounts by confessing sin and asking forgiveness from those he harms. Weird and funky stuff grows in the dark. Sin can spiral out of control quickly, or perhaps more commonly, can slowly slide us down a path towards darkness and lack of intimacy with God.

Yet, how awesome would it be that if when our children screwed up, they came to us, openly admitted to us what they did without us having to pry, and ask for our forgiveness? Well, if we would like the joy of that mind-blow in our lives, then we should first model that behavior as the men and God’s representatives in our households.

Neutralize Sin and Temptation

“So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” (2 Tim 2:22)

A man doesn’t even entertain the smallest of sins. Temptation is inevitable, but sin is preventable and repentable. It’s extremely comforting knowing that “no temptation has over taken (us) that is not common to man” and that “God is faithful, and won’t let (us) be tempted beyond our ability, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape that (we) may be able to endure it” (1^st Corinthians 10:13).  While God provides the door, we still have to walk through it, towards him, and away from sin. Recognize sin, confess, pray, repent, move forward with Christ, repeat. This is the Christian’s earthly journey.

Understand and Appreciate Responsibilities

“For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.” (Matthew 25:29)

A man understands and appreciates his responsibilities. In the Parable of the Talents, we see how God gives us responsibilities and blessings. The dad of that one sweet student buried his talent in the dirt and ran away. He made no effort to cultivate his blessing and watch it grow. A child is a responsibility to cherish. A wife is a responsibility to love. A family is a responsibility to surround with Christian community. A job is a responsibility to be diligent in and delight in. A home is a responsibility to keep clean of leaves on the roof and Lego on the floor. A man is not only grateful for what he has, but is diligent to take care of it.

Pray

“Pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

A man prays. A man talks to God when he is alone and with others. A man should not stop talking to God. There is a saying that goes, “I rarely pray for twenty minutes, but I rarely go twenty minutes without praying.”  There have been studies that when a married couple prays together on a consistent and regular basis, the divorce rate plummets to nearly zero (see Husbands, Stop and Pray). Most simply, if you want a better relationship with somebody, talk and listen to them more. The same works with God. So a man models this for his children just as God modeled this for his children, through Christ’s modeling of prayer in Matthew 6:9-13.

Man Up!

That student of mine is a sweetheart. She’s sweet, has the most unique personality, and makes the other kids in class laugh all the time, yet she has no dad working from home during this pandemic, or one coming home after work, from whom she can watch and see a bit of Christ.

What’s fortunate, my brothers and sisters, is that we have a Father who “will never leave us nor forsake us” (Hebrews 13:5) and who “showed his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 6:23).

As sweet as that girl is, she is also like you and me: a fallen sinner in need of God’s saving grace through Jesus Christ. There are no amounts of good grades she can receive, in my class or in life, that will earn her the passing grade needed to enter the University of Heaven. God has already aced this test for us with his Son on the cross.

So if you haven’t accepted God’s love for you through Jesus Christ, a free gift, all you have to do is hold out your hands and receive it. “Because if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).

Finally, if you are a man who already calls Jesus “Lord” but realizes that you may not have been pursuing him fully, then it is simply time to repent and…

M	Make time for God
A	Ask forgiveness and confess sin
N	Neutralize sin and temptation
U	Understand responsibilities
P	Pray

While there are no amount of good works that will save us (see Ephesians 2:8-9), and while the world will remained troubled and full of unrepentant, broken men until the return of Christ, we should “make it our aim to please God” (2 Cor. 5:9) at all times by following the model example set for us through Christ, our Lord. So man up, men!

Lord, thank you for the example you have set for us in your Son, the Man of men. Help us to be like him in all of our ways as many of us are at home with families, to remember your words, and be men who tend to the responsibilities you have blessed us with. We love you, Sir, to you be all the glory, and it’s in your Son’s name, by the power of the Holy Spirit we pray, amen.